Friday, April 25, 2008

What do you say to taking chances?

I am a dreamer. I am a survivor. I believe anything is possible. If you can dream it, and believe it, you can make it possible. We don't know what life holds for anyone of us. I believe what allows us to survive, and even thrive, are our core beliefs and our support system.

Moving to Blackfoot was the hugest leap of faith for us. Small miracles occurred and we took a chance not knowing what lay ahead. We uprooted our lives, and our children, and began a new life. We thought we were coming to take a chance on a new career, but what took place for our family in the last year and a half was so much more than we could have ever imagined. Moving somewhere where we didn't know anyone allowed us to rely on each other and have faith in each other; it also gave us the chance to know for ourselves the kindness, generosity, and goodness of others. Not having our regular support system close taught us to reach out to those around us for support. We have found our lives have been so richly blessed by the many families we met here. We feel our cup has overflown with friendship, humility, and love. I learned that we have more to offer others than we think we do. None of you will ever truly know how much I have been touched by your friendships; this goes out to all of you in my life past and present. You have all touched my heart and inspired me to be a better mother, a better woman, and a better friend. I know that there is a plan for each of us in our lives, that is so much bigger than we can comprehend. Our family feels inclined in a certain direction, and things seem to be falling into place in this regard. We have put our house up for sale, and will be moving to Arizona as soon as it sells. When we came to Blackfoot, we thought this was where we would be for quite some time, having no idea it was only a pit-stop, and a place for me to heal the wounds of my past.

I went to counseling while I was here, to address abuse from my childhood. Chris came for part of it as a support to me, and it is the best thing I have ever done. A heavy burden I had carried for over 25 years was lifted from my life, my marriage was greatly enriched, and I am living a truly joyful life for the first time. A life that was deserving to experience, because my old one was tainted and taken away from me so many years ago. I am so thankful, and didn't know it was possible to be free from the anxiety, depression, and insecurity that plagued me. But for anyone who is burdened by similar feelings, I want you to know that not only is it possible, you are entitled to be free from such feelings. They are not God-given. He wants us to have joy. I love my life now, and see it through a whole new set of eyes. Not as a victim, not only as a survivor, but as the dreamer I am, and a hero in my own life; surrounded by the many 'angels' I find in the friendships I make. Although it is hard to keep leaving those I come to love dearly behind, You are all apart of me, you all have enriched my life. You all are incredible people I will never forget - and if you're ever in Arizona, you know you are welcome in my home!

This seems to be my theme song, and a lesson for this girl who has always hated change, avoided change, feared change. I better learn to embrace these changes if I ever want to stay put somewhere!

'What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge?
never knowing if there's solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay?
What do you say?'

I say that life it what you make it - no matter what twists, turns, or stops you make along the way. And you all have made my life so worth it.

11 comments:

Lori Ann said...

I am VERY happy for you and your fmaily, but I do have to admit that I was VERY sad for the rest of us when I heard the news last week. Good luck with everything.

Muriel said...

Oh, but the weather in AZ is soooo much nicer. Good luck!

Shelby said...

Jenny, I just love ya so much! I'm really going to miss you on Girl's Night. I'm happy that things are working out for you to be able to move forward in your life. You're such an amazing person and I'm so sad that you're leaving us. You better keep up with the blog so we can stay in touch! Don't leave before we can have another night out on the town!

emily said...

Jenny, i am so happy for you and so glad we're family! you're a GREAT friend and i miss you TERRIBLY ... but i'm excited for your new adventures and shoot, now i have somewhere to vacation to!! Idaho, while a lovely place and all ... isn't the vacation hot spot that AZ has potential to be! count on me coming for a visit!
Love Ya BIG!

tricki_nicki said...

Ohhhhh, Jenny - I just need to give you a great big squeeze. I'm so so happy for you and your 'recovery'. I love you girl, and will be thinking of you lots as you guys head out to AZ.

xoxoxo

Kendra said...

jenny, both andy's brother and sister live in G and QC....if you need any contacts there let me know! It was just announced that G is getting a temple! good luck on the the move!

Taylor and Briannia said...

Oh What a great post!! I seriously was crying, but that shouldn't surprise anyone, because I'm always crying(: I'm really going to miss you, and what is my poor husband going to do without his basketball buddy? You guys are the greatest!!
BB

Mrs. B said...

This is such a touching blog. So heartfelt. I am so glad I have had the chance to meet you and your little family. You will always have friends here and will make new ones in Arizona. Good luck! Love ya!!!!

Jenny G. said...

I can't even tell you how much of an example you have been to me and all the great mom things you have taught me. I am a better person since and because you are in my life. I love you to pieces and cry everytime I think about you not being next door. My kids are so sad too. You guys are the best we love ya all. JG You know you are one of my true sole sisters!!!

Sarah said...

You have been such a fun addition to our little group...you have such an amazing ability to make friends...you'll do great wherever you go...
(I feel like I am writing in your yearbook!)
HUGS...and you KNOW how I feel about hugs =-)

iamjennycook said...

Just a note to all of you Girls - Thank you so much for leaving a note for me - it means so much to hear such kind words and encouragement. How did I get so lucky to have such great friends? Thanks for sharing the love!